home for the holidays...oh what joy!

I have been home in Ukiah since December 9th for Christmas. I was looking forward very much to coming home because I did not go home for Thanksgiving, and I was going through Ukiah withdrawels (a syndrome that I have suffered since I left the small town life and came to the big bay area. This includes day dreaming about strolling down school street window shopping, traffic free highways, and the beautiful hillsides that surround the valley.) Its funny however, because after two days of being here in Ukiah, I really want to go back to SMC. Part of it is the fact that my house is full of family, which like so many families, they are very aggrivating. My sister, her husband and my 18 month old nephew are all living here at my parents house, leaving me to a camping cot in the living room next to the Christmas tree. I dont mind so much sleeping on the cot, but I think I finally hit the point where coming home doesnt feel like home anymore.

Its a very weird feeling and transition point that we all have to endure, but its been kinda hard for me this season, because I feel like I dont have any place of my own. Something that is different too this break is the fact that I usually get really excited to see old friends from high school. Not so much this year. Im not in the mood to do much at all. Maybe Im in a rut, who knows.

I think however, that for the first time I have realized that this town isnt the perfect cookie cutter happy place that I have believed for so many years. There is alot of poverty here, and alot of hicks. I lately have met some of my brothers friends that are all truck driving, gun shooting hicks, that frankly are very annoying. Many of my high school friends now have children and are married, making it a bit awkward because I am nowhere near that point in life. Just some random thoughts of mine, because well believe it or not, its quite an astonishing thought for me, that I dont like this place anymore. In better news, I love it at school and I love my friends there. At least I have one place that makes me happy.